Posts Tagged ‘ kensington market ’

How not to eat infants in a civilized manner, part 2

Posted on October 27th, 2009 – 16 Comments

After reading yesterday’s post about the harrowing zombie situation in Toronto, you’re probably eager to discover how I escaped completely unscathed. After all, researchers have used zombie scenarios to predict the spread of H1N1, so I believe this information will be quite relevant even after the zombies have retired.

So where did I leave off yesterday? Oh yes, the zombies had me surrounded and I’d run out of people to toss in their path. The situation was getting really ugly:

no sense of personal hygiene

The great discovery happened when I pulled out my camera and started to take photos. I figured I could record my final few moments for TCL; become the first post-mortem blogger — I believe that would make for interesting content. But it wasn’t to be.

You see, it seems that zombies actually like to have their photos taken. Anyone in the crowd who happened to be brandishing a camera was given a wide berth and, often, cooperative smiles (or menacing grimaces – whatever the scene called for):

easy street, fellas!

And I feel that branding them all as brain-hungry murderers really isn’t representative of the zombie population. Being undead, apparently, isn’t enough to stave off the requirements of the workaday world, but the zombies seemed to take it all in stride. If it wasn’t for the homicidal tendency of ingesting live human brains, they’d probably make decent citizens.

cant txt. ded.

Haha! *insert social commentary here*

Speaking of commentary, who’s tailing the wag here?

leaving behind little zombie turds

That’s a little slice of a-okay, isn’t it? :D

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Filed under: B Sides, Pictures

How not to eat infants in a civilized manner, part 1

Posted on October 26th, 2009 – 13 Comments

A lot of people don’t know this, but Toronto has a terrible zombie problem. Most of the year they’re not really a nuisance; they pick through trash looking for brains and whatnot, but they mostly keep to themselves. But for the past seven years they’ve taken to the streets in an organized march.

Every year they keep demanding brains (like that’s gonna happen!) and better severance.
yeah, that "give him a hand" thing's been done to death. so's being "handy" to be around.

One of the things that shocked me about the whole thing was how punctual the zombies were. These days I’ve come to expect events starting thirty minutes to an hour late. But on Saturday, the undead were off and moving at 3:30 sharp.

Also shocking is the size of the demonstration, not to mention the aggressiveness of the group:

that's what you get for trespassing on ttc property!

I only escaped unharmed because of one amazing fact. That I will share with you tomorrow. You see, the march was so prolific, I simply have no choice but to milk it for two whole posts. Besides, some of the zombies put so much effort into the event, I feel it’s only fair to give them a little air time:

zombie? there's a visine for that!

One guess as to what this fellow was demonstrating for. Yup, brains. I don’t get it, are they that tasty?

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Filed under: B Sides, Pictures
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