This, Scarberians, is the brilliant Rob Fod who you allowed to get a hold of your money in order to build his vision of “subways”. Based on the video above, that will probably consist of some species of affordable unicorn covered in some manner of budget-conscious fairy dust that delivers crack cocaine to your front door, all paid for with magical gypsy gold and children’s dreams (that’s tax / fee / rent paying children, of course). This is the guy you handed the decision process to, allowing him to waste and squander what is now approaching a hundred million dollars while repeatedly “explaining” (Ford speak for “lie”), about how he’s actually saving a billion “dollars”.

The best part is how, throughout the entire process, Rob Ford kept all of his promises. Like his constantly-“guaranteed” no tax hikes, or the fact that he has managed to do everything he said he would with no service cuts, just as he promised. And above all that, I admire how honest and forthright Rob Ford and his brother have been with everyone about everything.

Then I recall how this man has given all of Toronto a heartwarming 30-year gift, his carefree attitude to anything and everything else having to do with transit, and his ability to maximize the time and money spent on a project while minimizing its value, and I am left in utter awe and amazement.

Boy, Scarborough, you really done good!

If, for some bizarre reason, you happen to read this blog and you’re a Ford supporter, first off, kudos for making it this far without losing your shit (or at least keeping it out of my face). Second, I’m going to propose that we have something in common.

I’m totally serious.

Assuming that the Ontario Press Council had ruled against the Toronto Star, and the Globe and Mail, etc., would you agree that the Council should have some real teeth to go after infractions? Maybe monetary penalties? Maybe something tougher? Well me too.

Oh, I think the ruling was right on, and I would’ve been surprised at anything else. But I would want these oversight agencies, while being diligently transparent, to have the power to affect and mandate some actual change. Change like holding Ford to account, for starters.

We don’t have to get all medieval on anyone’s ass, just get a little closer to what they do in the private sector, as Ford and friends so wisely suggest.

As Rob and Doug Ford took to the airwaves to promote their continuing assholery in picking on exclusively one councillor for his vote (19 other councillors voted the same way as Ainslie — obviously they’re not singling him out!), in Rob’s most recent pet project (subways for Scarborough), the compounded stream of pure lies and disrespect for both voters (a.k.a. taxpayers), and just plain common sense hit new heights.

In fact, it can now be accurately, and without exaggeration, be stated that most of what comes out of Rob and Doug Ford’s mouths are complete and utter lies. And when, on the rare occasion that they manage to say something even remotely truthful and accurate, they still manage to fill their claims with all sorts of bullshit, derision, and spiteful hypocrisy. What the Fords say and what they do are more often than not exact opposites; just browse a bit through this blog — the number of examples is staggering.

Here’s just a smattering from the radio show:

Caller Paul from Scarborough challenged the Fords’ claims that the Scarborough LRT, the above-ground alternative to the subway, will lead to “ripping up roads” and all of the other deceitful fear mongering that the two Fords have been menacing Torontonians with. He accurately called them “liars”, and provided a variety of facts to back this claim. Turns out the environmental assesments have all been paid for and done, and most of the LRT route would cover the existing Scarborough Rapid Transit tracks (i.e. no ripping up of roads, etc.) The Ford “plan” scraps all of those years of effort and costs a whack of money (based on previous EA costs, $1 million seems like a conservative number), in favour of back-of-the-napkin calculations, seemingly done by a 3-year-old (though apparently no one’s seen it so that’s really just a best guess).

Doug’s dismissive response was to entirely ignore all of these facts and instead respond with the usual Fordian drivel, “Do you believe in a two-tier transit system?”. No facts, no reports (even skewed ones!) to his singular claim — nope, Doug just called Paul a “liar” and then proceeded to heap lie upon deception upon insult.

Doug also included Josh Matlow in his dis session, most likely because Matlow is one of those disgusting downtown “elites” who know how to count and read; according to the Fords, all Toronto newspapers and magazines are tools of the wasteful “elite” now that they’re questioning the brothers, so start burning your books, Ford Nation!

Ensuring that his brother wasn’t the only one publicly spreading incorrect / incomplete information, Rob added that the average household will pay $10 a year extra as part of a property tax increase (yet another topic demonstrating the Fords’ double-crosses). The numbers are actually closer to $38 per year for the next 30 years, and that doesn’t cover the cost of running the new line. I wouldn’t call this last part a lie — it’s entirely possible that this is simply just another example of Ford’s willful, bull-headed ignorance.

Continuing the radio program, Robbie went on to express his outrage at the expenses of Pan Am Games officials, which almost threatened to shine a ray of honesty onto the Ford administration until I recalled how completely unconcerned he was (and continues to be), when Pan Am organizers met with him and basically refused to discuss the costs of finding a mascot for the event. This would look pretty bad in and of itself, but it takes on Fordian proportions when you consider that Rob’s former hand-picked Chief of Staff Amir Remtulla has been Pan Am’s vice president for well over a year, and the guy in Amir’s position prior to that was none other than Nick Kouvalis, Rob’s previous Chief of Staff and the man generally credited with getting Ford the mayoralty. And this outrage-in-absentia isn’t uncommon for Fordo.

So in case you missed that, Rob Ford not only knowingly allowed secret Pan Am spending to occur on his watch without lifting a finger (this doesn’t even include the number of times that the Games were before Council as votes, reports, etc.), but he personally appointed the people who he now feigns outrage at. Not that there’s any insinuations of impropriety, mind you — unlike Ford, all of the Pan Am executives’ bonuses were above board. And while I agree that the bonuses are quite exorbitant, it doesn’t address the fact that Rob and his brother knew about them for years and did absolutely nothing about them. Actually, that’s not 100% correct — Ford is directly responsible for ensuring that some of those people received the exorbitant bonuses.

The bullshit didn’t stop there.

Rob continued by telling guest sports commentator Mike Toth about the lessons he learned from coaching football — the importance of being on time — a wonderful example to teach newcomers to Canada what the word “hipocrisy” means. If that example doesn’t quite hit home, there’s always the follow-up statement that Robbie made on the radio show by repeating his claim that City Hall has a spending problem, not a revenue problem, and he calls bullshit on higher taxes and other revenue “tools”. What he actually meant is that he thinks you’re so fucking stupid that you won’t remember that he voted to increase property taxes by 1.6% all while simultaneously decrying any tax hikes, and at the same time hiking trasit fare and reducing services, championing massive police budget increases, cutting Councillor pay, wasting hundreds of thousands in unjustified firings, and millions in ass-backwards (some believe illegal) decisions … hell, I could go on for hours, but you get the picture.

It’s gotten to the point where that old joke has taken on a sad new gravity:

You know when the Fords are lying when they open their mouths.

The sieve that is Rob Ford’s administration continues to leak the vital fluids of the municipal body of City Hall consisting of staff and fellow councillors. Yes, the analogy is as lousy as Ford’s retention rate.

I’ve lost count as to how many people have decided to stand up against Ford’s petty tyranny, but this time around it’s councillor Paul Ainslie jumping ship from Ford’s executive committee, saying that the blubbery one bullied him and other councillors into making ass-backwards, idiotic decisions based on fantasy, bluster, and lies (a.k.a. Ford “logic”).

The back-breaking final straw came with Ford’s bull-headed insistence on subways for Scarborough, now enacted and thereby sealing the fate of that whole part of the city for decades.

“I think it’s irresponsible of me to go to taxpayers and say ‘here’s a basically free LRT being given to you’ or ‘you can spend a billion plus dollars on a subway that’s going to take 10 or 20 years to build,’” he said. “I don’t think there’s enough planning from the mayor’s office on how to ease gridlock in this city, or public transportation, or just getting people to work.”

Complete lack of planning, entirely made-up facts and arguments, lies, name-calling, law breaking, denigration and attacks and finger-pointing: all in a typical day for Rob Ford and his brother.

Ensuring that his ignorance was on full display, Robbie followed up the vote by saying that downtowners have enough subways and there’s just no reason why anything needs to be done to accommodate an influx of extra commuters (you know, with these new subway lines that he pushed through), into an already at-capacity system.

But Rob Ford, being justifiably emboldened, decided to take it one step further, once again breaching a bunch of laws in the process (he’s already been openly and illegally campaigning for over a year), and following his buddy Stephen Harper’s cue in placing automated calls (a.k.a. robocalls) to Scarborough residents specifically to rat out Ainslie as the only person to vote against subways (and for LRTs).

Of course, the bloated one didn’t bother to mention how he personally voted to increase Scarberians’ property taxes to pay for his bullheaded project, after years of screaming about the evils of any new tax hikes, etc. etc. — directly contrary to his campaign promise, and everything he’s claimed up until very recently. Ford is so dishonest that he managed to flip flop four times on a single motion — actually voting against himself!

This comes shortly on the heels of more political hypocrisy (laced with heaping dollops of ignorance), from the Fords as they rejected a Toronto memorial for Pierre Elliott Trudeau.

Asked about why he supported honouring late NDP leader Jack Layton with a statue on the waterfront, Ford said, “Mr. Layton did a tremendous amount for the city. Pierre Trudeau did not.”

That’s the hypocrisy part…

Contrary to Ford’s assertion, Councillor Peter Milczyn, who seconded the motion, said Trudeau made a significant contribution to Toronto with the creation of Harbourfront Corp. in 1972, which “started opening up the water’s edge.”

“He is one of the great prime ministers the country had; the father of our Constitution and Charter of Rights,” Milczyn said. “He is a person that a lot of people look up to and admire. So I think it’s reasonable that in Canada’s biggest city we would have some kind of commemoration of him.”

He was not surprised that the Ford brothers reject the idea.

“If people want to be hyperpartisan here, they can answer for it,” he said.

For his part, Doug Ford chided Milczyn as he passed him on press row, joking that “he would name his ward after Trudeau if he could.”

Rob Ford and his brother sure do hang out with some interesting people.

For example, Allesandro “Sandro” Lisi, friend of the Fords, occassional driver and bodyguard for Rob:

“Toronto police are investigating attempts by associates of Mayor Rob Ford to retrieve the crack cocaine video.

One target of the investigation is Alexander “Sandro” Lisi, 35, a Range Rover-driving Etobicoke man with a criminal history of threatening and assaulting women, who has been acting as an occasional driver and security guard for the mayor.”
Toronto Star, August 16, 2013

***

“Alessandro (Sandro) Lisi, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s friend and occasional driver, has been charged with possession and trafficking of marijuana, police confirmed this morning.

Police have also charged Lisi, 35, with conspiracy to commit an indictable offence and possession of the proceeds of crime.”
Huffington Post Canada, October 1, 2013

***

“Calls mounted Tuesday for Mayor Rob Ford to address reports that he and his associates are under investigation by Toronto police, just as new allegations emerged about an attempt by Alexander Lisi to swap drugs for the mayor’s stolen cellphone.

Asked about the reports, a jubilant Mayor Ford, en route to council to debate the proposed Scarborough subway, emphatically shook his head and chanted: “Subways, subways, subways!””
National Post, October 8, 2013

Then there’s David Price, Ford’s buddy, financial adviser, former football coach, and ex-“director of logistics and operations” at City Hall (a position created specially for Price by Robbie):

“Just before news of the alleged crack video broke, Price was accompanying Ford at an Etobicoke community council meeting, where a controversial condo project was being discussed. Mid-meeting, Ford suddenly went to the parking lot to place magnets on parked cars.

When reporters began following Ford to ask why he had left the meeting, Ford answered a few questions before saying he would take no more. Price then physically blocked reporters from pursuing Ford, and scoffed at the suggestion from a reporter that Ford should be attending the meeting.

“He can do whatever he wants. Putting magnets on a community event — what do you expect him to be, up on stage?” Price said.”
Toronto Star, May 31, 2013

***

“David Price, a senior staff member in Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s office, has been suspended after a phone call to a local newspaper.

The controversy comes in response to an exclusive CBC News story reporting that Price made repeated calls to Ford’s weekly radio show identifying himself only as “Dave” from various parts of the city.

The calls (there were at least six) would often praise Ford and his brother Coun. Doug Ford for their work at city hall. Price, a longtime friend of the Ford brothers, wasn’t on the mayor’s staff at the time the calls were made.”
CBC News, June 26, 2013

***

“David Price, Mr. Ford’s director of operations and logistics, allegedly yelled at a transit employee and damaged a door at the Georgetown GO Transit station on Aug. 27, a source told The Globe.”
The Globe and Mail, September 19, 2013

***

“Marc Surette, who owns the Trackside Cafe in the station, told the Toronto Sun Price missed a train that day and told the attendant to “fuck off” before slamming one of the stations wooden doors open, causing it to hit an outside ledge and crack. When Surette confronted Price about his behaviour, the Ford staffer replied: “Yeah, fuck you dickhead, what are you going to do about it?”

Price has not responded to a request for comment about the incident.

His boss, Mayor Ford, didn’t have much to say about the incident Thursday when he finally addressed it.

“It’s actually no one’s business what happens in my office,” Ford said after a press conference celebrating the one-year anniversary of his trade mission to Chicago. “I take care of the people that work for me and they do a great job, as you see.””
Toronto Sun, September 19, 2013

***

“Dave Price’s alleged hostile behaviour toward a female attendant and door-slamming has raised eyebrows at the normally quiet station, Surette said.

“He leaves you on edge when he comes in here,” Surette said. “The whole building goes quiet when that man walks in the door. It’s kind of crazy.”

Price has had at least two “major freak outs” in the past 10 months and at least four altercations with GO staff at the station because of his frustration over Metrolinx’s Presto card.

“I think he’s had two really big freak outs before this but also some smaller exchanges as well where he just gets loud and obnoxious with the attendant,” Surette said.”
Toronto Sun, September 19, 2013

Let’s not forget Gene Jones, personally appointed by Ford to replace then-TCHC (Toronto Community Housing Corp.) head Keiko Nakamura:

“And Mr. Ford said while he’s gratified the seven unelected board members took his hint and have left, he’d like to see the rest of the housing corporation’s leadership do the same. He hopes to have a brand new board up and running “probably within a month or so.”

“I’m glad that they’ve resigned. Now we can move forward,” he said. “We’re going to get this board back on its feet and restore the trust.”

The city’s auditor-general, Jeff Griffiths, whose reports found “pervasive” violations of the housing corporation’s own policies when it came to awarding contracts, is none too pleased himself. He said in a presentation to the TCHC’s board the flagrant disregard for spending policy was among the worst he’s seen in years.”
The Globe and Mail, March 3, 2011

***

“Mayor Rob Ford is sticking by Toronto Community Housing CEO Gene Jones  following a new report that claims the CEO is being investigated for his hiring  practices.

“He’s come in. He’s cleaned house. He’s done what he has to do. I support him  100 per cent,” Ford told reporters after touring a TCHC building at 3101 Weston  Rd. Wednesday. “So if people want to take shots at him, I’m gonna stick up for  him.”

A report Wednesday in the Toronto Star says city ombudsman Fiona Crean is  investigating complaints that Jones hired and promoted managers without allowing  other staff to compete for the jobs.”
CP24, September 18, 2013

***

“Ford urged the TCHC to investigate any possible corruption and fully backed CEO Gene Jones in the wake of news the corporation has a forensic accounting investigation underway into dealings with its subsidiary companies — HSI and 200 Wellesley St. E. —  that was spawned out of the forensic audit ordered by the board last spring.”
Toronto Sun, September 18, 2013

***

“While Mr. Ford attends to tales of leaky fridges, foul garbage chutes and hearing aids that have fallen down the drain, the city’s massive housing agency continues to be dogged by controversy.

Outside the 18-storey tower, the man hired more than a year ago to turn around the Toronto Community Housing Corp. tells reporters to expect more bad news after revelations on Wednesday that the organization is investigating yet more allegations of wrong-doing.

“There may be more,” TCH head Gene Jones said. “Hopefully not, but I’m pretty sure there will be.””
The Globe and Mail, September 18, 2013

And then there’s Payman Aboodowleh, a.k.a. Peter Payman, a.k.a. Pejman Aboodowleh, personally recruited by Ford to coach his beloved Don Bosco Eagles high school football team:

“Peter Payman was identified in game programs as a coach for Don Bosco Catholic Secondary School’s football team until the end of last season. But years before he joined the mayor on the sidelines, that same man served as an enforcer for Alessandro “Sandro” Lisi, one of the key figures in the illegal drug scandal that has dogged Mr. Ford’s administration, The Globe and Mail has learned.

…

Although he is called Peter Payman in the school’s football literature, his real name is Payman Aboodowleh, a 38-year-old who has a history of violent crimes, including assaulting a peace officer, assaulting his brother and breaking and entering.

But Mr. Aboodowleh’s violent history was not revealed to administrators in the Toronto Catholic District School Board, which says it was supplied a false name for his police records check, a requirement for anyone who volunteers in the board’s schools.

…

Mr. Aboodowleh also started the 2011 season as a coach and at that time also submitted a criminal records check application form, the board and police say. This time, however, his real name was provided, but before his background check was completed by the Toronto Police Service, he was asked to leave the team by the then principal because of a “nose-to-nose altercation” with a player at practice, Mr. Yan said. (Mr. Aboodowleh’s return to the team the next season was requested by the mayor, Mr. Yan said.)

Even if that 2011 reference check had been completed, it likely would not have turned up some of Mr. Aboodowleh’s recent convictions, such as his 2009 conviction for assaulting a peace officer and dangerous driving. That’s because he has yet another alias – Pejman Aboodowleh – that he has used during some of his interactions with law enforcement. That name happens to be the former name of Mr. Aboodowleh’s younger brother who was forced to legally change his name in 2003, two sources say, because his older brother Payman’s use of his younger sibling’s identity during encounters with police.”
The Globe and Mail, October 9, 2013

And these are just a few in a long line of characters who interact with Rob and Doug regularly, have unprecedented access to City Hall and undue influence over the mayor and his brother, and are presumably just the type of straight-shooting, honest, stand-up folks that the Fords and their “Nation” insist on. The trend is, after all, is hard to miss:

“As an Etobicoke dry cleaner under a cloud of drug charges sought to reassemble his ransacked shop and life, a Toronto police source confirmed that a special detail of investigators is indeed probing Mayor Rob Ford.

The squad, led by accomplished homicide Det.-Sgt. Gary Giroux, has also been delving into the affairs of the mayor’s associates, leading to this week’s arrest of his friend and sometimes driver, Alexander “Sandro” Lisi, for trafficking of marijuana, conspiracy to traffic, marijuana possession and possession of proceeds of crime.

Jamshid Bahrami was also rounded up in the same police operation that unfurled in a well-travelled plaza near Eglinton and Kipling avenues on Tuesday.”
National Post, October 4, 2013

***

“He [Rob Ford] talks about his sister, complaining, “the media never got it straight.”

How’s this for an explanation: “The killer wasn’t her ex-husband, it was an old boyfriend.”

As Ford tells it, Kathy Ford’s first boyfriend was Mike, before she married Jeff and had a daughter.

After divorcing Jeff, she lived six years with Ennio, bearing a son. She left Ennio and went back to Mike, and they rented a cottage up north.

Ford: In 1998, “from what I was told (by the kids), Ennio knocked on the cottage door and Mike answered it and Ennio shot him in the head” with a sawed-off shotgun. Charges were laid; Ennio went to prison for manslaughter.

In 2005, Ford says someone else “shot the top of her head off.” Press reports suggest it was an accident; two men were charged with firearms-related offences.

She’s functioning well, he says, living with her two children and on methadone for her heroin addiction.”
Toronto Star, April 21, 2010

***

“Mayor Rob Ford’s former brother-in-law, Ennio Stirpe, glared at a judge and cursed after hearing he had been sentenced to 18 years in prison for a knife attack that blinded a Vaughan woman in one eye.

He muttered the curse out of Justice Michelle Fuerst’s hearing range in Newmarket court on Friday.

…

Fuerst also ordered Stirpe to complete a manslaughter prison term for the 1998 shotgun slaying of the boyfriend of Ford’s sister, Kathy.

Stirpe was on parole at the time of the October 2008 knife attack in his basement apartment.”
Toronto Star, March 16, 2012

***

“As questions mount over why police are investigating the city’s mayor, Rob Ford’s brother on Monday said he was “mistaken” to have suggested police were conducting aerial surveillance on the family home in Etobicoke.

While Mayor Ford has yet to address revelations that he and his associates are the targets of a Toronto police investigation, Councillor Ford last week substantiated reports that a Cessna aircraft was used to track the mayor, telling the Toronto Sun he saw the plane over his mother’s home for five straight days in August. He said he “gave them the finger” and later called police, who told him the plane was related to an airport bust, but he did not believe them. “You know when a plane is surveilling you,” Councillor Ford told the Sun.”
National Post, October 7, 2013

***

“Doug Ford, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s brother, sold hashish for several years in the 1980s. Another brother, Randy, was also involved in the drug trade and was once charged in relation to a drug-related kidnapping. Their sister, Kathy, has been the victim of drug-related gun violence.”
The Globe and Mail, May 25, 2013

***

“Consider what we have been told in media reports over the past four months. That an infamous photograph of the mayor that emerged with the alleged drug video was taken at a house occupied by a long-time friend of Mr. Ford, Fabio Basso, who has had brushes with the law.

That one of the men in that photo has been murdered and two others rounded up by police in a drugs-and-guns raid. That Mr. Ford tried to visit another friend who has been in trouble with the law, Bruno Bellissimo, at a Toronto jail. Sources told The Globe and Mail that police have interviewed members of the mayor’s staff about people including Mr. Lisi, and attempts to retrieve the alleged drug video.”
The Globe and Mail, October 3, 2013

***

“Doug Ford says that he does not believe the Toronto Star journalists who wrote about an internal police document describing the origin of a police investigation involving his brother, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, and some of his associates.

…

Doug Ford said he believes the police, but not the Star reporters who cited the police document. He also said he is concerned that the police leaked the document, then quickly said he doesn’t think the police did so.”
Toronto Star, October 8, 2013

***

“Reporter: Is your brother under investigation? Isn’t that something you want to know?

Doug Ford: I think that’s up to the police chief to make his comments, but again I support the police but I’m very concerned; it’s very disturbing if the police are breaking the law, which I don’t believe they are for a second. That’s why I question Kevin Donovan and the Toronto Star.

…

Doug Ford: I support any investigation that took place. I support the police investigation. I support the police. That’s it. I just hope the police aren’t working hand in hand with the Toronto Star. That’s it.”
Toronto Star, October 8, 2013

Speaking to reporters at a gas station around the corner from his house today, a visibly shaken Rob Ford addressed the news that his occasional driver / bodyguard / advisor / confidant / BFF  Allesandro Lisi has been arrested by the Toronto Police on drug trafficking charges.

In the unusual scrum, Ford fought back tears and repeatedly choked on words as he implored on the police chief to release Lisi.

“He’s a friend, he’s a good guy … he’s straight and narrow, never once seen the guy drink, never seen him once do drugs. I just want him back. I just want my little buddy back. He’s not a bad guy! He’s just … too fragile for jail. Please, Chief Blair, just let him go. Please let him go.”

You can tell that this post isn’t entirely accurate because I suggested that Rob Ford had an emotion other than anger directed at his usual target – the damned media. C’mon.

There are many things that, at one time, were the exclusive domain of the tinfoil hat brigade. Claims such as the government spying on everyone, or that that same government is engaged in a global plot to enslave its citizens under corporate rule through coercion, outwardly hypocritical violence, fear and intimidation, secrecy, open criminality, and many massive rights violations, all promulgated by a colluding mass media as perfectly normal and certainly not worth informing you about.

Seems like those tinfoil-donning lunatics were onto something; it even turns out that tinfoil is pretty good at blocking out the types of radio waves that can affect a human brain. So these days, when those same crazies talk about visitors from other planets, I’m much more apt to take a few moments to hear them out.

I’m still on the fence about the existence of extraterrestrial creatures. Yes, I think the chance that other life exists out there is extremely good; intelligent life too. But I can’t remember ever seeing a UFO or anything that might look otherwordly so I can’t rely on any personal experience.

When I have to resort to trusting the accounts of others I steer towards those who have some established credibility. Paul Hellyer, former Canadian Minister of National Defense,  for example, seems like a pretty solid bet. Not only was Hellyer a rarity among politicians (he had some qualifications for his position!), but he has remained a sensible and balanced public voice maintaining that UFOs are real and being covered up by governments worldwide. Contrasted against the way governments operate, Hellyer’s claims seem even more plausable.

Here’s what he had to say earlier this year at an official-looking “hearing” on UFOs and ETs in Toronto:

The truth is out there.

You may have heard the term “paywall” — it’s when a web site limits the amount of content that you can see unless you sign up with them for a fee. This typically happens after you’ve viewed a predetermined number of articles, and that number is reset on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis (depending on their setup).

All of Toronto’s major daily newspapers have put up paywalls, including the Toronto Star, Toronto Sun, Globe and Mail, and National Post.

And they’re all just awful.

Much hooplah was made about a developer that bypassed the New York Times paywall a couple of years ago, yet little (if anything), has changed since. David Hayes, the developer who cracked the NYT paywall, claims it took him a lunch hour to write the bookmarklet that bypasses the newspaper’s paywall.

A couple of days ago when Sarah was hitting the Star’s paywall I decided to take a quick look at what would be involved in getting around it. Twenty minuted later I had bypassed the paywalls of all of the above papers, including the New York Times (before I’d read anything on the topic, I should add). It took another 30 minutes to produce a small, generic site script that makes the dewalling process just a little easier and faster.

I’m not blowing my own horn here. I’m no super genius and this “hack” could be accomplished by anyone with rudimentary web development experience. In fact, both Hayes’ code and my own are almost unnecessary; with a few extra steps, you can bypass these paywalls with no extra software or crazy hacking skills. Chances are good that you already know how to do it.

I can see some extra benefit to a utility that would assist in automatically navigating the paywall beyond the first article — so that you could click on the web page links instead of having to load article by article — but this was more of a proof-of-concept thing, and the proven concept is that paywalls are unfortunately simple to defeat.

I’m not currently posting my dewalling code publicly. However, I will detail why this problem exists, and what the papers can do to fix it (if you’re from any of the aforementioned newspapers, feel free to give me a shout).

So Why Are Developers So Dumb?

I don’t think they are :) And to be honest, I totally get why things were done this way.

When a typical web browser grabs the web page you request, it sends out some limited information for the listening web server on the other end. This includes listing the browser’s capabilities (what kinds of content it can handle), specifying what it’s looking for (usually the URL of the web page), and cookies.

The receiving web server has that, plus an IP address, to identify an individual reader over the internet.

The IP isn’t unique to you, it’s unique to your internet connection which may be shared by many devices (like the the internet box thing, a.k.a. residential router, in your home). Browser capabilities can’t be assumed to be unique, again, because of that shared internet connection thing. And cookies can be cleared with the click of a button.

Given these limitations, how are web developers supposed to identify unique readers while ensuring that other legitimate readers can still access the site?

Better to err on the side of caution and just use cookies, sometimes along with IP, rather than accidentally block readers. Paywalls are necessarily leaky.

So What Should They Do?

This is a tough one.

It’s tough because it puts the limitations of technology up against corporate culture and profits.

What this does is really call up the need for reflection on how the papers profit from their content, and to me it’s an all-or-nothing proposition.

One option is for the papers go all-in and make certain articles, sections, features, etc. fully pay-only. That means having to log in to access them, otherwise it’s an excerpt, or some sort of teaser, to the general hoi poloi.

Another, more Zuckerbergian option is to offer access in exchange for personal information. I’m not necessarily averse to this, but it also requires a content lock-down of some sort.

The current paywall solution is somewhere just above both of these, being easily circumventable but still acting as a deterrent to the average web user.

I would gravitate towards the nothing end of the scale with a nag solution where on every X views of an article, the non-subscribed reader receives a temporary pop-over message suggesting that they subscribe. IP address on the server could be used to determine how often to do this — it seems unlikely that shared connections would all be connecting to the same content source, and even so, all it would produce is a nagging reminder that people really do like the content. It’d be sort of like a local rating system with an option to subscribe.

Beyond that, there could be a mild nag every time, for non-subscribed users. This starts to get close to being just plain old fashioned inline advertising, which would be the next solution before nothing at all (full, free access to everything).

Of course, since the papers have full control over their sites, there’s theoretically no limit on how inline advertising could be accomplished. There’s the always classy Toronto Sun wall-to-wall background…

…but if that’s not the newspaper’s style, I’m sure there are other and more elegant approaches.

Ultimately, the decision is whether or not to lock away content. Logins are reliable, which is why they’re so popular. Identifying users without them is inherently unreliable. Either content can be locked away completely, or it should be assumed to be open to everyone. The seemingly in-between paywall solution is actually in the second family by reasons which I’ve explained earlier.

Astute web developers will point out that other mechanisms are available to bypass some of these limitations: Flash shared objects, or persistent browser databases. While these are a step beyond simple cookies, both are easily deleted as part of most modern browers’ cache management. In other words, they’re not much better than anything mentioned so far.

Browsers impose these limits to provide a level of privacy protection, and without requiring readers to manually enter additional information like a username and password, it’s tough if not impossible to pinpoint an individual human being. Without this exactness, any paywall or content blocking system is bound to be flimsy. The solution, at least at the present time, won’t involve technology; it’ll require high-level decisions about what will be locked away from the general public and what won’t.

I’m taking some license with what Diane Ford actually said about her son at the unveiling of his portrait earlier this week. However, the painting, which was created by a fellow council member at the behest of Ford’s mother, did incite some interesting comments in her:

“While I’ve had it the last few days, I stand back and I look at it, and I can see 10 different personalities — I can see all of Rob’s personalities in that picture,” she said in her own speech.

Note how she qualified the sentence by re-iterating that Rob Ford has multiple personalities.

One could probably excuse her wording if she were a newer immigrant and meant to imply that she sees Ford’s complex and vibrant character, the many sides of his personality, in the painting. But the Fords have been Canadian natives way longer than I have, so what’s their excuse?

Yes, I suppose the Fords’ magnificent ignorance could extend all the way to simple, everyday English. But Diane didn’t stop there:

The painting was temporarily moved to a part of the mayor’s office visible to the public. It will hang permanently in the Etobicoke home of Diane, who began prodding Crawford to do it three years ago.

“When it was finished,” she said, “and he brought it over, I was actually very excited, very thrilled, and when he unveiled it in my living room, it was the wow factor. Ah, I couldn’t believe it, I just couldn’t believe it. And I said to Gary, jeez, all of that colour, I mean, it’s great, but why? He says, ‘Because that’s Rob Ford. He’s very colourful.’”

It’s rare that is happens, says John Elvidge of the city clerk’s office, but sitting mayors do have the right to poke their noses into the various standing committees at City Hall, including sitting in on and taking part in votes, exactly as Rob Ford did on Monday night. It’s an executive privilege.

It’s the second time Ford has done this in a week, this time on the 2014 Service Level review for the Parks and Environment Committee. The Committee, which meets irregularly once every three months or so, makes decisions on things like spending on public parks, gardens, and outdoor programs.

The vote before the Committee on Monday included a number of potentially sizeable increases which were not spelled out in any detail that I saw, although considering the fact that only existing services were listed, it seems that the numbers should be straightfroward to estimate.

Regardless, Ford declared that the as-yet-unspecified amount was too much, voted the item down, and walked out before another motion was adopted to move everything under the purview of the 2014 city budget process. Dougie was also absent for this follow-up vote.

“We can’t have these lefties spending like drunken sailors,” Ford said after his rare appearance at the parks and environment committee.

Ford says a lot of things about money at City Hall.

Things like swearing that freezing property taxes is “job one” for his administration, a claim which he rescinds drastically and early on after being voted into office (actually defending a hefty property tax increase in the process). Then, after being unable to come up with any alternative ideas to fund various city projects, settling on optimistically championing a property tax increase, then a month later calling for a property tax freeze yet again. And all of it in the unabashed service of business, which Ford says is tantamount to working for the common man.

So when Ford says that he’s getting involved in cherry-picked committee votes to curtail leftie spending, or for the benefits of the taxpayer, or any of his other disproved, divisive, and derisive nonsense, let’s just say I’m very skeptical.