No longer relegated to credit or bank cards, a new bank note being released by The Bank of Canada this November (more to follow in 2012) promises to seem just as flimsy and worthless as the mag stripes you destroy in your back pocket today. Progress!
According to The Don’s typical hyperbolic pronouncements, the staggeringly priced units (starting at just under $1 mill. and going as high as $20 mill.), are “superior” by virtue of the fixtures (your choice of faucets makes you a better person), and by the sheer height from which you can look / spit down on the common rabble from on high.
I get the impression that Chris had made up his mind about this “Worst Buildings of Toronto” selection a long time ago. The sore-thumb slab that Humie affectionately refers to as “condominiums”, however, doesn’t jump to mind when I think of Bloor and Lansdowne. In fact, I don’t remember the last time I was out in that area; now I don’t care to remember.
“I don’t know what to say in its defense except that, I guess, that it provides housing for a large number of people”, is the only positive comment that the Chris offers. I would only add a voluminous barf sound of some sort to round off that review.
Chris doesn’t pull many punches with his third-worst Toronto building, Ryerson University’s Ted Rogers School of Management. Among the building’s most admirable traits he includes the facts that it’s on a busy downtown corner, it’s above a Canadian Tire, and has a parking garage. To me, this does not a good building make. In fact, this would barely qualify as a worthy parking lot.
However, Humie’s commentary describing the building as “a dog’s breakfast” is a little unfair, only insomuch as Ryerson is known for acquiring existing locations, usually individual rooms within buildings like Chris’ other favourite, the Toronto Life Square building. What I mean is that Ryerson’s not 100% responsible for the shape of the building, though their lack of follow-up aesthetic is something we can collectively laugh at. Or weep.
Contentious is a good word to describe the Toronto Life Square Building, a.k.a. 10 Dundas East. Typical lamentations include descriptions like “ugly”, “awful”, “disappointing”, and “my grandmother wouldn’t take a crap on this thing, and she wears diapers!”
The fact that Chris Hume chose this particular building for the number five slot in his “Worst Buildings of Toronto” list is kinda like saying, “I don’t like Hitler”, or “that Bin Laden guy was a jerk” — most people would tend to agree.
For me, the Toronto Life building isn’t the affront on North American culture that some people insist it is, but its thin, crowded interior with its centerpiece of narrow escalators is a total letdown after walking under that massive facade. I don’t know that this building would’ve made my own top-five-worst list, but Toronto could certainly do a whole lot better.
Okay, I admit that at first it was kinda neat to see those irregular angles but, Wellington Street still feels pretty much like a back road (hint: all the other buildings are still facing the same way). And if asymmetry is what yanks your crank then I’m sure we could find nicer examples. Basically, if this is your top pick then I need to severely start doubting my ability to predict the five worst. Or five whatever, for that matter.
While I haven’t actually been inside the thing — I’m told that it’s a bit of an engineering / acoustic marvel with the performance hall being isolated from the outer shell with giant damper supports; a building on stilts within a building — the spectacle inside doesn’t nearly match the drab outside. One day soon I’m planning to take advantage of the $12 standing-room-only admission, but I can assure you it won’t be because I’m drawn in by the architecture.
I’m pretty surprised at how much I agree with The Star’s Chris Hume in his evaluation of Toronto architecture. With yesterday’s exception, of course. Perhaps it’s because we both see modernity as forward-looking rather than the total destruction of all we hold near and dear. Maybe we’re both able to see change as a progression rather than a personal attack.
I still reserve the right to be a crotchety old fart when I arrive at the appropriately ripe age, but for now I gotta give Chris his props for his number two “Best Buildings of Toronto” pick, Maple Leaf Square. I love the giant screen looming over the Air Canada Centre’s western entrances, and I like it even more when the square is filled with gawking event attendees — the thought of all those suburbanites surrounded by mighty, erect Toronto towers and majestic, sexy architecture gives me a special feeling.
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