See, when I make headlines like the one above, I always get the feeling that new readers are going to immediately dismiss the accompanying posts simply because the headlines sound made-up. At the very least, they sound like hyperbole or some sort of truth-bending. The other option is that I’m just pulling the readers’ legs.

And yet, not only is the one-liner accurate, as is usually the case with the Fords, it actually doesn’t go nearly far enough.

The ethics thing comes straight from the mouth and hand of reprobascious Doug Ford who marched into a social housing project in his ward with a wad of cash and started peeling off $20 bills to hand out to residents. Such actions obviously prove, as they have since day one, that Rob and Doug are just two average guys like the rest of us — not the rich, privileged, “elite”, corrupt, greezee-haired, gold-chained mobster politicians that their “enemies” are (which basically encompasses everyone at this point). Obviously.

This obvious vote-buying isn’t a problem, apparently, since an election has not yet been called. But even if we were in an election period and something could be done (which it wouldn’t), it’s clear that there would be no consequences to the belligerent Ford reign. And, of course, it wouldn’t be Ford (either one, really), if he didn’t defend his vileness while simultaneously letting the world know what he thinks of morals and ethics:

It’s my choice [to grease palms]. He [Councillor Gord Perks] can think all the ethics he wants. It doesn’t even faze me.

The very same can be said of brother Rob who, as you may recall, is facing a libel suit for alleging that Toronto Star reporter Daniel Dale is a pedophile, a claim made for no apparent reason in a now-missing Vision TV interview with fellow loquacious loser Conrad Black (Vision, part of rich media barron Moses Znaimer’s ZoomerMedia, is also being sued for the same reason). There’s absolutely no proof that I know of to back Ford’s claim — in fact, plenty to the contrary showing that Rob Ford is, as he always was, a lying, immoral, violent, crack-smoking jerkhole.

But, you know, he wouldn’t be Robbie if he didn’t stand by his bizarre off-the-cuff slander time and time again; and, of course, it wouldn’t be Doug if he didn’t defend his brother’s unconscionable bullshit the whole way.

From the stills below, you’d hardly think that Robbie was being as belligerent as he was being in his presser defense of his statements made in Conrad Black’s interview on Monday night. There’s a part in the interview in which Ford not so subtly claims that Star reporter Daniel Dale is a pedophile who was skulking around behind the Ford house roughly a year and a half ago to snap pictures of his kids in their home.

I’ve taken the liberty of adding some captions for posterity.

“…motherfucker…”

“Look, I already told you, dickweed…”

“…kiss my ass.”

“And if all y’all don’t like it…”

“…y’all can go fuck yourselves.”

“Uh.”

“Holy shit…”

“…is it getting hot in here?”

From Rob Ford’s archived 2010 election site:

Rob Ford is a lifelong resident of Toronto. The son of a former MPP, the late Doug Ford, Rob grew up with community service in his blood. Elected in 2000 as the Councilor representing Ward 2 in North Etobicoke, Rob has become one of the hardest working councilors in the city. His focus on ensuring transparency and accountability in public spending, setting an example for excellence in customer service, and his passion for making sure tax dollars are spent on the things people and families need most has marked him as a leader on council.

Prior to being elected, Rob spent 10 years building a family business into a multi-million dollar North American enterprise serving that now employs over 200 people with locations in Etobicoke, Chicago and New Jersey. Their clients include many of North America’s largest and most recognized brands.

Rob’s passion for promoting the positive development of youth and his own experience in playing high school and university-level football was the foundation for his efforts to bring football back to high schools in Toronto. He recognized that team sports, such as football, can provide a catalyst that helps engage at-risk youth, teaches teamwork and leadership skills, and provides a positive environment for teens to develop as healthy, productive citizens. In 2002, Rob founded the highly successful Eagles football program at Don Bosco Catholic Secondary School in North Etobicoke where he remains as head coach of the Junior and Senior teams. To expand the benefit of this program to all youth in the city, Rob established the Rob Ford Football Foundation which has raised more than $100,000 to purchase equipment and establish football programs at high schools across Toronto.

Rob remains an active supporter of numerous community organizations and charities, including the Salvation Army Red Shield Appeal, Terry Fox Foundation, Heart and Stroke Foundation, Toronto Board of Trade and the Toronto West Rotary Club. Rob also donates each year to numerous charitable organizations and events.

Rob and his wife Renata live in north Etobicoke with their daughter Stephanie and son Douglas.

Campaign Address

245 Dixon Road
Toronto, Ontario
M9P 3T4

Phone: 416.628.8576
rob@robfordformayor.ca

Online campaign donation site: https://www.beanstream.com/scripts/payment/payment.asp?merchant_id=117580704

Some uniquely Canadian sentiments from recent anti-Ford protests at Nathan Phillips Square:

And the pièce de résistance:

So now that we’re on the cusp on RoFo’s dethronement, brother Doug has decided to tell it like it is and compare Rob to Jesus or perhaps some sort of white Obama — that’s the type of injustice being carried out here!

Hmm, I don’t remember reading about Jesus smoking crack or publicly lying over and over again, although he did hang out with prostitutes so maybe there’s a hint there?

It’s completely understandable that, with their man backed into a corner as he is, the remaining stalwarts of Ford Nation would start lashing out at their enemies which, as expected, now encompass everyone but themselves and the Fords.

I made the frankly idiotic decision to inquire about their thinking process in the dwindling “I Hate The War on Mayor Rob Ford” Facebook page with inflammatory questions like, “So you believe that 42 elected Councillors working together is the path to totalitarianism whereas one Councillor ignoring everyone else to do as he pleases is democracy?”

Well, of course that got me banned and my comments deleted, so none of the witty repartee survived, but I did manage to snag some of the high-caliber commentary that graces this and other social media pages (all public, so protecting identities is pointless):

Creative spelling, grammar, and punctuation aside, I was able to confirm that Ford Nation really does believe and accept as verbatim truth whatever their idols claim. For example, there’s the mind-bogglingly dogged “people hate Rob for his policies” rhetoric:

…mindlessly copied by dozy Fordites…

While having the threat of possible removal hanging over Councillors’ heads is something that Ford Nation pretty much demands, they simultaneously claim that this is completely anti-democratic and abhorrent (when imposed on the Fords). If you’re looking for an example of how hypocrisy is a form or irony, there you go!

Then, of course there’s the ever-present nonsense about the Fords saving the city money, or the taxpayers money, or anyone money, which I’ve gone over ad nauseum:

Then there are the fantasies about how many people actually support Ford (even more confirmation of the uncritical nature of Ford supporters), mixed with heaping portions of good old-fashioned slander:

Hey, Ford Nation, did you know that there’s this new thing called “Google” that will allow you to search for exact sentence fragments? No shit! This amazing new technology will allow you to verify the veracity of whatever it is that’s being quoted or, in this case, entirely being made up:

Ah, but why resort to facts when you can engage in otherwise heady debate?

While it’s true that I don’t exactly hold back on my criticisms of political (and other) figures, there continues to be that one dividing line between my statements and those put out by Ford Nation: supporting facts. So I suppose it’s not so surprising that despite the constant stream of on-camera lies, supporters somehow still believe that Rob is a stand-up guy:

Perhaps the most disturbing are the paranoid and delusional histrionics being employed by lead Ford Nation personalities (a term used very loosely):

In the “it would be amusing/clever/pun-ny if they weren’t actually being serious” category are the Ford apologists, such as the following I hate the War administrator who is talking about Rob’s recent cunnilingus comments:

Oh well, at least they can all agree about how disgusting this entire media circus is and how Robbie and Dougie just need to be left alone. Here’s a final example, exactly as it appeared on I Hate the War‘s Facebook page:

Classic.

Having just heard Doug Ford lashing out at the Chief of Police this morning (then discussing journalism law and ethics with a group of Ryerson students), demanding that the Chief be investigated for being in conflict of interest in making a statement about how he personally felt after seeing the crack video, I was about to let loose with a bunch of F-bombs and litany of lies-and-hypocrisy-exposing links. Seriously…conflict of interest?!

But then…

First came the news that a growing chorus on Council is finally getting in gear and making motions to effectively nullify the mayor’s and his deputy’s powers:

Second was the expected-but-still-shocking admission by Robbie: yes, he did smoke crack. Probably while heavily drunk, though surprisingly Robbie recalls both that it happened about a year ago and what the media were asking him in May of this year. The reason he didn’t answer media questions about his crack use honestly, says Ford, is not because he was lying but because they didn’t ask him the right questions. Apparently they just kept referring to alcohol.

Well, here we are. So should the cops now do as Robbie demanded a couple of days ago and arrest him? Will the Fords go down with some shred of decency, or will they go down as unabashed villains?

I’m sure this isn’t the first time I’ve mentioned how the state and its agencies are getting so bold with our basic, fundamental freedoms that to compare them to East Germany’s post-World-War-2 Stasi is in no way an exaggeration.

A constant, around-the-clock surveillance on all citizens, guilty or innocent, is taking place – that much is now well and publicly established fact. Granted, we don’t have the secret police disappearing people off the streets just yet, but both Harper (Bill S-7) and Obama (NDAA) have made sure that that kind of thing will be all nice and legal when they decide to roll it out. Or they just passed these laws for shits and giggles, maybe? Oh, I know, it’s just for the bad guys, right?

Thankfully, there’s a growing backlash in the United States:

And we’re seeing some fightback from the CCLA on the topic too. But government is just one tiny step away from business, and the same scummy lack of morals and ethics pervades both houses of rot and greed.

Just recently, Bell announced it would be sharing your data with third-parties to bring better-tailored advertising to your mobile phone. According to a contract which would otherwise be viewed as being produced in bad faith (but, you know, big money), Bell reserves the right to do whatever they want, whenever they want, as do most banks and other big business we are forced to deal with at a cost and by law — unless I haven’t heard and the Canadian government is using its own solely legal tender (cash) again?

Oh sure, you can opt-out of the ads, but only whenever they feel like getting to it. Oh, and they’re still gonna track you and share the data with whomever they please — just to be clear.

Rogers recently did something similar, albeit in an opt-in fashion. Funny thing is, if Rogers is the good guy, it really makes you wonder what kind of shit is going on behind the scenes at Bell. As you may recall, Rogers spent months fighting tooth and nail against having to tell the truth in their ads because they claimed it infringed on their freedom of speech.

Simultaneously, our governments are pulling the rugs out from under their citizens by clamping down on unbiased scientific information in exchange for government propaganda, which is almost 100% pro-business and pro-big-money, and increasingly just simply telling their subjects that they’re not entitled to any information or say on things like massive, global, secretive agreements and deals like CETA, which will directly affect most of them negatively for a very long time — importing dirt-cheap European labour while Canadians remain unemployed, higher drug costs (government “subsidies” come out of Canadians’ pockets as taxes, don’t forget), and I’m sure a few other surprises and gotchas too — not like anyone’s allowed to actually see the damned things. But we might get cheaper eau du toilette though!

Even the people who Harper claims that the fast-tracked CETA is supposed to help aren’t happy with it. Ain’t the first time he’s pulled this stunt either. But what does King Harper care?

He’s become so accustomed to getting his way that as he was busy throwing his appointed minions under the bus, he and his helper monkeys became enraged when most news stations refused to air his recent caucus speech because he demanded that only cameras be let in — NO ONE MAY ASK QUESTIONS!

But our benevolent government is throwing us lowly serfs one little bone among all this, they’re going to allow us  to look over results of drug safety analyses of Health Canada. Yeah! Now we’re allowed to see the information produced with the money that is seized from us in order to determine if something might kill us or not. Aren’t we lucky?! Of course, the previous reasoning was that they would be giving away business secrets with this information, which obviously trumps God himself.

Is it just me or is this shit starting to get real old?

An excerpt from a recent Cracked magazine:

Robbie talking to Norm Kelly during this year’s TIFF:

Robbie answering questions directly and honestly:

A clip that never gets old:

Honest signage:

On oldie-but-a-goodie:

An uncanny likeness:

…and another portrayal by artist Mike Geiger:

Finally, just so it’s not all the disturbingly laughable Rob Ford, a random street altercation on Spadina:

Speaking to reporters at a gas station around the corner from his house today, a visibly shaken Rob Ford addressed the news that his occasional driver / bodyguard / advisor / confidant / BFF  Allesandro Lisi has been arrested by the Toronto Police on drug trafficking charges.

In the unusual scrum, Ford fought back tears and repeatedly choked on words as he implored on the police chief to release Lisi.

“He’s a friend, he’s a good guy … he’s straight and narrow, never once seen the guy drink, never seen him once do drugs. I just want him back. I just want my little buddy back. He’s not a bad guy! He’s just … too fragile for jail. Please, Chief Blair, just let him go. Please let him go.”

You can tell that this post isn’t entirely accurate because I suggested that Rob Ford had an emotion other than anger directed at his usual target – the damned media. C’mon.