kiss by -nikkon-

It’s been a while since the Toronto mayoral race had a scandal, don’t you think, dear reader?

The last one toppled Adam Giambrone, reducing Jammers to a sobbing wreck as he was delivering his stepping-down speech. To be honest, we all kinda saw that one coming, didn’t we? Young guy, in politics since he was in diapers; he was overdue for a political misstep. According to the Toronto’s Sexiest Councillor poll (you haven’t voted yet?), he gives most of the councillors a run for their money, and even I’ll grudgingly concede that he’s a fairly good-looking guy, so the fact that it was a sex scandal that took him out (the standard had sex with another woman kind), really didn’t come as a surprise.

The latest one involving Rob Ford, however, was a bit of a surprise. To say it came out of left field would be a bit of an understatement.

Seems Rob got himself tangled up with a Dieter Doneit-Henderson (first name pronounced “Deeter”, second like “doughnut”), a gay guy with Fibromyalgia living somewhere on the west end of the city. From what I could glean; just outside of Rob’s electoral district anyway.

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Last year’s Luminato experience, at least for me, consisted of a giant red ball, a pricey half pint of beer, and a few moments with Disco Inferno. I didn’t quite know what to make of the festival then and, to be honest, I still don’t really have a handle on what it’s supposed to be.

On the one hand there are events such as live theatre, literature, and artsy staples such as painting and photography, but on the other hand many of the free family-friendly events would be difficult to classify as anything other than pure entertainment.

For a hardcore art experience, Nuit Blanche is a safer bet, and free outdoor entertainment can easily be found, well, just about anywhere during the summer. If you like meaty literature, it’s not tough to find, and getting your live action fix is easily doable too.

But for a festival that seems to be trying to be all things to all people, they do sometimes succeed in breaching the niche in a very satisfying way.

Last night, for example, Luminato had The Moist Towelettes throwing down on the main Yonge-Dundas stage as part of the J-Pop Divas thing.

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The Esplanade Tower… by Froz’n Motion / Cameron MacMaster

I was just on my way home last night when I overheard this heartwarming tune being performed at Yonge-Dundas Square (part of Luminato).

In lieu of good audio quality, here are the lyrics to the snippet I recorded:

…she’s a sex machine, yeah.
She just turned 18.
And she buys me methamphetamines.

That’s why I’m dumping you, biatch, that’s why I’m out the door.
Go on an close the dumpster cuz you’re still a skanky whore.

A skanky skanky skanky skanky whore.

You spend the night at truck stops,
and at the tattoo shops,
and it don’t make you an actress just because you’ve been on Cops.

And sure you finished college,
well whoop-di-frickin-doo,
If I blew all my teachers I’d finish college too.

That’s why I’m dumping you, bzatch,
that’s why I’m out the door,
She told me she’s your sister but you’re still a skanky whore.

She’s a little skanky too, but you’re a whole lot more,
You creepy, cranky, stinky, stanky,
skanky, skanky whore.

…continued from part 1.

After researching what the G-20 does, I have to say, I really don’t think that they’re this evil body of leaders bent on taking over the world that some people suggest. I mean, I suppose it’s possible, and I guess you need to have some megalomaniacal qualities in order to get to that level in global politics, but it just seems like they spend most of their time sitting around eating munchies and making nice-to-do lists. I can’t begrudge them that, it’s what I aspire to myself.

But does it deserve the amount of money that our government is throwing at it? Will the, at present, C$1.2 billion be the sound investment that they’re saying it is?

Yes, that’s billion. I know, seems pretty high to me too, but to be honest I’ve never held an international summit so I wouldn’t know how much to ask for at the door. And, yeah, if we’re going to have global leaders here, we should probably buy them the good munchies, not the dollar-store crap. Presumably this second option is what was chosen in Pittsburgh, the location of the last summit, where they spent US$12.2 million (roughly C$13 million).

The costs over the past few summits (these are estimates because, apparently, these figures didn’t warrant detailed tracking or further study), are:

• 2009 (U.K) – US$30 million (C$30,000,000)
• 2009 (U.S.) – US$18 million (C$18,000,000)
• 2010 (Canada) – C$1.2 billion+ — projected

It’s estimated that about half of this, or C$500 million, is being spent on security. That’s gonna be some security!

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Cardinal Skate Co. by go ask alice …

With just a little over two weeks to go until Toronto goes under severe lockdown for the G-20 summit, I figured it was high time to start taking a deeper look into this thing. After all, I’d like to know where the last of my tax money (that I was, quite literally, going to use to buy a load of bread), will be going. Maybe I’m getting it all wrong, maybe I’m not giving this organization a fair shake; maybe they do serve an indispensable function that benefits the whole world.

First, I wanted to start by looking at what the point of the G-20 actually is; who are they and what are they planning to do here. In the second part of this series I’ll be examining specifics to the Toronto summit; security, costs, and some of the things that would make me laugh out loud if they didn’t make me want to cry. The included photos are of the security perimeter fencing currently being erected through a large section of downtown Toronto (we’ll go on a tour in part 2).

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Nature in the city by Lionheartedboy

A few years ago when I still lived on the farm (pretty close to a farm anyways), I spent many hours driving around the countryside looking for abandoned houses, mines, warehouses, factories; basically any structures left to nature. On the periphery of the suburbs these were a dime-a-dozen.

For whatever reasons (I’m guessing economic), people just picked up and left their residences, sometimes leaving everything behind. I mean, most of the time the houses were empty and dilapidated; still fun if you’re into testing your skills in dangerous environments (the mines were especially enjoyable), but other than photos, not much to walk away with. But there were prized finds too, locations with dusty books, old photos, antiques, coins – I have more than a few items in my collection from those times.

The way I looked at it was like this: if I didn’t save those items, they’d now be destroyed by the elements, mildew, or asshole-initiated fires. And because these structures were located on the edges of the burbs, they were more often than not slated for demolition anyway, so whatever was inside would’ve ended up in landfill (at best). Even designated historical properties were often left to complete ruin while new subdivisions sprung up around them – sometimes coming within a foot of the old structures, and sometimes even damaging them. In a very real way I considered my incursions a way to preserve history.

The same philosophy is behind the movement known as Urban Exploration, or UrbEx, which got its start in Toronto (at least in terms of being organized and public). As the name implies, exploration of this kind is usually reserved for urban environments like abandoned or boarded up buildings, unused subway stations, old factories, and even sewers. If it’s off-limits to the public, it’s fair game for UrbEx.

Technically, anyone involved in UrbEx is breaking the law – it’s still trespassing. Plus, some locations are incredibly dangerous (crumbling walls/floors, exposed electrical wiring, asbestos, etc.), so the pastime doesn’t always attract people with the best intentions or the most brain cells. But there do exist organizations and individuals who think the same way I do, who took the pains to explore properly, and it’s thanks to their efforts that we now have Doors Open Toronto.

This year, 150 buildings opened their doors to the public during the weekend event, giving almost unlimited access for people to explore typically off-limits areas.

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