Miso horny
Posted on December 7th, 2009 –
Regarding the title, I simply came to the conclusion that, really, is there a better opportunity to use it than today? I mean, tomorrow the interweb could break and then I’d be kicking myself in the pants for weeks for having missed the golden moment. So there’s that explained.
Of course, this all has to do with my insistence on integrity. You see, I may resort to describing the glistening contours of the thing that emerged from my bowels this morning, but only if that thing actually took form, and I’m really hurting for a topic. So when I make a bowl of miso, I may freely incorporate it into the discussion, and title, and rest assured it’s better than just any old shit.
This particular bowl of miso also has a history.
I was walking near the lakeshore on Cherry Street pretending to be Rain Man and taking pictures of random stuff in the sky. Here’s one I call “Wapner’s on at three”:
The wind in that area is out to murder people; not hurt or maim, murder. I pulled my hands out for, maybe, three seconds to take that picture and I nearly lost them both to exposure. I need to get a glove fund started or pretty soon I’ll be the famous stumpy blogger who mashes out his photos like he mashes out his posts, poorly. I’m not good with stumps.
By keeping my hands in my pockets, I managed to defrost them long enough to take a few more pictures, but the closer I got to the lake the more it was looking like the wind would have its way with me before tossing my bedraggled corpse over the side of the bridge into the dark, choppy waters below.
And I gotta tell ya, that just didn’t sound like fun at all.
Huddled in my coat and hands stuffed as far away from danger as possible, I double-timed it out of there. The two surviving photos are entitled “I’m an excellent driver” and “Wapner’s on at three redux”, respectively:
Okay, so I’ve just escaped a savage death at the hands of the elements but I’m still not out of the woods; now the miso comes into play.
In that God-forsaken land where there is naught but wailing and gnashing of teeth, there stands a gaily lit T&T Supermarket. The T&T carries probably the most extensive assortment of Asian / Taiwanese goods outside of Asia / Taiwan, many of which I picked up a taste for during my expat years. The winters during that time were cold and damp and my rock-solid cure for them was hot miso and cold sushi. Well, mostly the miso. The sushi came around on one of those little conveyor belts — the fish was kinda secondary. Plus they had killer wasabi.
So I ducked into the T&T and, completely separated from the maelstrom outside, picked through green onions to the soothing sounds of Gordon Lightfoot. I wandered the aisles pretending to be shopping for chopsticks or … woks or … live squid or … tampons until I warmed up enough for the daunting journey back home.Well, since I’m writing this I clearly made it home without losing any extremities. This time. Next time, I may not be so lucky. (really gotta start that glove fund!)
So the miso, which I hadn’t planned on, turned out to have a death-defying story to it in the end. It made the ingredients somehow more … special:
The fish balls are actually a Taiwanese hot-pot thing (a zesty communal broth in which everyone at the table cooks their food), but go pretty well with the soup. Bit sweet – maybe cut them up next time. There was another, un-fried variety in the store but when I saw the ones I eventually picked I noticed that they a) were fried and b) contained fewer preservatives (presumably by virtue of being fried). Sold and sold!
Oliver vouches for the authenticity of the fish balls and the veracity of this post. And I didn’t even have to resort to any racy titles or descriptions of bowel movements!
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December 8th, 2009 1:58 am
Lol. Do you read Jack Vance by any chance?
"wailing and gnashing of teeth" is something he says in some of his books. It's a favorite line of mine!
December 8th, 2009 7:38 am
I believe, Chinaren, that's a biblical quote originally — at least I've never read Mr. Vance so I can't attribute it to him. But if he used it, he can't be all bad :) I love the expression too … succinct, direct, and accurate.
December 8th, 2009 7:33 am
First of all, very glad you used the title, it gave me a chuckle.
Second of all, your miso soup looks fantastic, and like the perfect thing to warm you on a cold day (like today!).
December 8th, 2009 8:03 am
Thanks, Kato. I don't know if miso will cut it in the middle of deepest, darkest February, but it's doing the job for now.
December 8th, 2009 8:23 am
Those are some great photos to accompany a delicious bowl of miso. Now if you can only get that bloody breeze brought up on harassment charges…
December 8th, 2009 1:13 pm
Haha! Thanks, Wngl. Surprisingly, the wind is the least of my worries these days.
December 8th, 2009 8:20 pm
that first picture is a total "WOW"
December 8th, 2009 9:07 pm
Thanks, Grace :)